I was filming a show. It was a courtroom scene. Many of the people who were in the scene were drunk. It was supposed to be an empty set but when I got in there, there was an actual case going on and they told me to take a seat on one of the benches to wait. A gurney got rolled into the doors and on it was my dad, he sat up and started laughing, told me everything was okay. I got light-headed and thought I was having a heart attack. Sat there with my head tucked between my knees till it passed.
I got up and went out into the hallway where my dad was waiting for me. He said he had to go and I started crying my eyes out. I remember holding him tightly and telling him how much I loved him and that I'd miss him. He walked around the corner and disappeared.
I went back into the courtroom set, crying. Some of my uncles were there, they were teasing me about crying. My grandmother who passed away last year was there too. She told me in spanish that if they kept teasing me to tell them to go fuck themselves and i clung on to her, crying into her neck and shoulder telling her how much I loved her.
We couldn't continue shooting the scene so it cuts to needing to move. I couldn't find work but we had a new place that was just down the street. My brother and mother were helping me move dishes from one place to the next and the place was in a wooded area. We were all in the kitchen getting other dishes washed and packed up when I looked out the window. A big black bear had a cougar on it's backside, literally. A smaller brown bear was chasing the two down a dirt path. My dog, who has never been my dog in reality, was chasing the three of them. All of a sudden they did a 180 and started coming back up the path. My dog started attacking the black bear, the cat got off the bear and all of them started attacking my dog. I started screaming for my dog to run away but they started tearing into him. I remember closing my eyes and screaming over and over and everyone around me screaming, telling me not to look. I woke up just after.
I got up and went out into the hallway where my dad was waiting for me. He said he had to go and I started crying my eyes out. I remember holding him tightly and telling him how much I loved him and that I'd miss him. He walked around the corner and disappeared.
I went back into the courtroom set, crying. Some of my uncles were there, they were teasing me about crying. My grandmother who passed away last year was there too. She told me in spanish that if they kept teasing me to tell them to go fuck themselves and i clung on to her, crying into her neck and shoulder telling her how much I loved her.
We couldn't continue shooting the scene so it cuts to needing to move. I couldn't find work but we had a new place that was just down the street. My brother and mother were helping me move dishes from one place to the next and the place was in a wooded area. We were all in the kitchen getting other dishes washed and packed up when I looked out the window. A big black bear had a cougar on it's backside, literally. A smaller brown bear was chasing the two down a dirt path. My dog, who has never been my dog in reality, was chasing the three of them. All of a sudden they did a 180 and started coming back up the path. My dog started attacking the black bear, the cat got off the bear and all of them started attacking my dog. I started screaming for my dog to run away but they started tearing into him. I remember closing my eyes and screaming over and over and everyone around me screaming, telling me not to look. I woke up just after.
- Mood:
confused


Comments
Things aren't going the way you expected, something has changed beyond what you were ready for ( an actual case going on ) and thus you're feeling overwhelmed, lightheaded, scared.ou'd like more help than you're getting ( maybe from family )but it feels impossible ( ie support from peole who are no longer with you ). The black bear could be you, literally carrying a cougar on your back. Something big and possibly dangerous. Doesn't make sense, but it's still there. Something you can't explain yet. The dog is circumstance, chasing down something that doesn't make sense, trying to attack it and tear it down. But in the end, the thing that doesn't make sense is bigger and more powerful, and that leaves you feeling helpless, scared, and disjointed from the entire event.
Hooray for life.
Love you.
I really like Munchflower's assessment, that fits. The thing I get out of it overall is that you are continuing to fight a variety of "inbound" stressors, but that you keep plugging. They may change and switch tactics but you don't give up, despite the obvious upset, stress and fears.
Huggers you & loves you & shoos away the nasty dreams & their RL sources!